See Em. See Em Riep. Riep Em Riep!

2-13-07

Jesus Christ on a crutch, I had a great post written up and then the computer here decided to crap out on me, losing the entire thing. So instead of a witty, sarcastic update you're getting a cynical, self-depricating update instead. Happy? Well you should be. You're all in air-conditioned facilites while I'm on the street sweating balls trying to keep from getting dehydrated, only if I keep hydrated I keep sweating so the only way to stop sweating is to rid my body of water. I'm caught in this viscious cycle because Siem Riep is hot.
Hot and dusty.
Hot and dusty and . . . well, dusty. How did I get to this hot and dusty place? Well I'll tell you! It all starts back when I was in first grade, damn I remember it like it was yesterday . . .

Just kidding. My trip to Cambodia started when I left Bangkok for the bus station to take me to the Thai/Cambodia border. The 5 hour bus ride to the border was fine, good roads and we even got a little cake and some water. But after we got to the border, passed into Cambodia and climbed aboard a bus and started making our way to Siem Riep, things quickly changed. First off the bus was completely packed, my backpack squashed underneath a fold out seat and back packs piled up behind me, threatening to come down after each and every bump on the non-maintained road. And oh were there bumps, the road is more rock and dust than asphalt, a fact I was reminded of evey time I took in a breath and got dust since we had to keep the windows open for the fresh air. What was supposed to be a bumpy 4 1/2 hour ride to Siem Riep took a semi-hellish 7 1/2 hours that was extended from having to replace a flat tire and stop at a tourist restaurant for some tasteless food. When we finally got off the bus we were so dusty that slapping my chest caused my t-shirt to cough up a large collection of the dust it had accumulated from the road.

After arriving at the guesthouse at 10:30 at night I crashed, still dusty and exhausted. Come to think of it, I've crashed every night dusty and exhausted. The heat here drains energy and it's hot for most of the day. Luckily it's a dry heat and not the swelting Vanuatu oh-my-god-kill-me-now heat I'd grown accustomed to. Being used to the conditions of Vanuatu is probably one of the reasons I haven't dropped in the middle of the day. Anyway, after arriving at the guest house I noticed a bottle of rice wine that was half filled with some dark pieces of something. Upon closer inspection I saw lots of legs and apendages from a scorpion, centipede and tarantula. So with all these dead poisonous animals floating at the bottom of 3 year old rice wine of course I tried some, spooning it off the top so I didn't get any crunchies. Strangely it was much smoother and tastier than the rice wine I'd tasted in Laos where they make their own from scratch. The staff at the guest house informed me the rice wine w/critters would make me strong and act as viagra, sweet. So when I get old I'll be hitting up reptile and liquor stores instead of pharmacies. Who's with me?

The next day I started visiting the Wats of Angkor including Angkor Wat, a huge spectable of Kmer architecture, art and sandstone. The thing is huge, amazing and a UNESCO World Heritage Site. It's also a major tourist attraction, something that I realized as I saw the throngs of pasty white people wandering through and the wide-eyed Japanese groups. I searched for some peace and quiet at the top of the third level of Angkor Wat, only to hear the bantering of an American family at the bottom, talking about absolutely nothing at all. It's hard to contemplate the grandiose scale of an ancient, 1000 year old temple with people rambling away below you. Hey, I just lost an hour of writing, I warned you. After Angkor Wat I went to Angkor Thom, another huge temple with gigantic faces carved into the brick walls. I could go on an on about these temples, they're that freaking sweet.

The day after it was wash, rinse, and repeat except this time it was different temples. You see, Angkor is a large area with well over 10 major temples. The next day I went to more temples, starting with Banteay Srei in the north and seeing so many Wats that and the end of the day I was Watted out, dead tired and dehydrated. But in between I managed to see Pre Rup and some other temples that looked straight out of the Indian Jones ride at Disney Land, huge carved faces and everything. It was crazy, as in Jesus-Christ-this-is-so-cool crazy. I hightly suggest Angkor to anyone who has half a brain stem and a pair of eyes. I think even my cats (when they were still alive) would have appreciated it. Most of the temples have concentric walls, rising up into the air. At the top are normally statues of Buddha or other deities which have probably been removed. At the top of Pre Rup there was a small Buddhist shrine complete with two headless Buddhas. I talked to the guard at the top and he said that they were beheaded by the Kmer Rouge back in the day. I tried to be as culturally appropriate as possible and keep my head lower than the Buddhas, even though they had no heads. I visited all the Wats I could an d still enjoy them. I got to a point where I was looking up at the Wats thinking "Hey that's pretty neat" instead of "Sweet jumping Jihad, would you look at that shit!" which is pretty much how I was at the beginning of the day. You know it's time to call it a day when even 1000 year old temples fail to get you excited and all you can manage to think of is "Neat". Strangely, buying fruit later that night got me more excited than when I was at a low energy point at Angkor.

One of the best Wats I went to was Ta Pro

hm, where they filmed parts of Tomb Raider. The temple is supposed to be left as it is with no renovation so there are trees growing everywhere and walls which have fallen over and everything is left as is. Surprisingly, the front of the temple was covered in scaffolding from restoration! So I guess some government is forking over the money to make it look pretty.

She doesn't know it, but this Japanese tourist is 2 fingers away from being the Hobgoblin. That, or she's trying to be Little Bunny Foo Foo.

Yesterday I decided to take a break from the temples and wander around Siem Riep, as I'll probably head out to Phenom Phen in the next day or so and check out the Killing Fields and whatever museums they have there. After that it's anyone's guess as to where I'm headed, I want to get up to China as quickly as possible so I may do the train route through Vietnam or bus it through Laos. Luckily I have plenty more pages in my passport (after getting it refilled at the U.S. embassy in Thailand) so I don't have to skip any countries.

Today I took a trip to the war museum a little outside Siem Riep where they have a land mine exhibit and all sorts of old howitzers, Thompson machine guns, AK-47's and this beauty right here.

We olgeta, traen luk mi! Mi mi stap holem semak masket wea Rambo i usem long namba tu film blong hem. Mi mi olsem Rambo wan taem! Spos yu kam long ples ia yu tu i save holem masket. Mo tu, spos yu gat fulap vatu yu save sutum masket mo kilim ded sam faol mo buluk. Onest!